The Lumber Room

"Consign them to dust and damp by way of preserving them"

Dan Brown parody

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By the National Review. Like this:

That could only be my friend, Sir Leigh Teabing, the Royal Historian and Ambassador-Plenipotentiary to the Exchequer. He was awarded a knightency by Queen Elizabeth the II for his amazing volume on the House of Percy, in which he revealed for the first time the ninth earl’s involvement in a Rosicrucian-Illuminati-Masonic conspiracy to do, er, something or other.

“Good evening, old fruit!,” he exclaimed as he shimmered in, his monocle popping out. “I say, how the devil are you, old bean? Lawks-a-mercy, had a spot of bother getting up the apples and pears, don’t you know! Good lord, is that settee kosher or wot? Must ‘ave a knees-up round the old Joanna, eh!” (Did I not already tell you my research skills are second to none?: I based this dialogue on The Code of the Woosters, a useful compendium of contemporary slang). His manservant, Rémy Legaludec, stood by, menacingly.

There’s also Dumbledore’s death in the style of…” by the Guardian, among which is Dan Brown. And Dan Brown. Of course, Chaucer is the best. It is interesting that almost ten years after having read Enid Blyton, I find the parody recognisable and funny.

2007-01-29: I found a Straight Dope message board thread discussing how things would look If LotR Had Been Written By Someone Else!? This thread grew to about 40 pages long, so someone collected it. That collection has gone off the web now, but you can still find it at the Wayback Machine: here. Later versions are actually worse. The June 6 version seems ok (and later ones don’t — some links that you follow won’t work), but I haven’t checked exhaustively and you might have to try even older versions.

Written by S

Sat, 2006-09-16 at 08:54:18

Posted in funny

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